This interview is a powerful testament to resilience, love, and the transformative nature of grief. Nipal’s experiences of losing her daughter, enduring a divorce, and facing multiple cancer battles reflect the depth of loss but also reveal a path to healing through purpose, faith, and community. Her courage in sharing such personal moments offers not only inspiration but also a reminder that despite life’s darkest chapters, there is always a way forward.
The Heart & Sole 5K and her work at the Epilepsy Foundation are tangible examples of how grief can be channeled into something meaningful. This type of community-driven service – whether organizing events or helping the homeless – demonstrates that even in our pain, we can uplift others.
Her advice to embrace the full emotional spectrum – from tears to laughter – and to lean on faith is valuable for anyone struggling with loss, illness, or other personal battles. The mantra “Grit and Grace” encapsulates this duality: the strength to endure hardship and the grace to grow through it.
In the end, her story stands as a beacon of hope, resilience, and the enduring power of love. Through her reflections, we learn that even though the grief from losing a child or facing a serious illness never fully dissipates, it is possible to find peace and purpose in the aftermath.
Interviewer: There is no easy way to approach the subject of loss. What would you like readers to know about your personal experience with the loss of your only child, the dissolution of a 15-year marriage, and your 2020 cancer diagnosis? Why are you willing to revisit these painful moments now?
Interviewee: It has been 10 years since my last interview in Austin, Texas, when I was promoting the Heart & Sole 5K “In Memory of Danielle.” Time has taught me patience and perspective. Grief is such an intimate journey, and at some point, it affects us all. Despite all the resources available, hearing someone else’s story can offer comfort, inspire, or simply provide strength to get through one more day. If sharing the coping mechanisms, I have used helps even one person, then that is all I could hope for.
Interviewer: Could you tell us about the day you lost your daughter, Alexandria Danielle or to use your words, «she transitioned to her heavenly home»?
Interviewee: It was the day before Thanksgiving in 2011, November 23rd – the same day my divorce became final. She had recently turned 21. We had no family events planned, so we signed up to volunteer at the Hard Rock Café to feed the homeless. By lunchtime, when she was not replying to my texts or calls, I knew something was wrong. We had a code to signal we were safe, and she missed it. My boss saw how worried I was and let me leave early. That is when I found her in the bathroom, where she had fallen and hit her head during what they called “an unsupervised epileptic fall.” Thanksgiving and the weeks after that are still a blur – just one long, blank moment.
Interviewer: You mentioned the Heart & Sole 5K held in your daughter’s memory. How did that event come about, and how many times was it held?
Interviewee: My therapist suggested community involvement to cope with grief. During a Google search, I found another mom who had lost her son, Kaden, to a seizure in the bathroom. She had organized a 5K in his memory. Inspired, I gathered 30 friends and family members, and we formed the “Live with a Heart for Danielle” team. We even won “Most Team Spirit.” After hearing my story, the Epilepsy Foundation of South Texas offered to create the Heart & Sole 5K in Memory of Danielle. We held two events – one in 2012 and another in 2014 – and raised around $80,000 to $90,000, respectively. Chairing those events helped me stay active, giving me a reason to keep going when I could have easily shut down.
Interviewer: If you could share the most important lesson you have learned from losing your daughter, what would it be?
Interviewee: Acceptance that sometimes the answer is no. Alexandria Danielle was larger than life – a ballet dancer and an accomplished operatic singer with a tested IQ of genius pursuing a PHD in Psychology. She used to say, “I’m flying my Freak Flag, mom, and you should too.” And that is what I have tried to do, live life as she would have. It’s about finding ways to honor her memory and embracing who I am, no matter how difficult the journey has been.
Interviewer: 2020 will forever be remembered as the year of the COVID-19 pandemic. Share what it was like to receive a cancer diagnosis during that time, many turn to family as their “why”, did you have a why and what was the hardest challenge to overcome?
Interviewee: This was not my first cancer diagnosis. I had stage 2 melanoma removed three months before Alexandria passed, and in the fall of 2019, I had tumors removed from my breast and nostril. In 1995, I had also lost the ability to have more children due to cervical cancer. But the base of tongue cancer has been the most life-altering. The pandemic made it worse – MD Anderson Cancer Center enforced a strict no visitors policy coupled with airline shut down, family could not travel. Surgery was not an option because the tumor was too widespread, and my body failed to complete the necessary chemotherapy, so radiation was the only choice. They told me if I did not die from radiation complications, we might have a chance of beating it. I even nicknamed my tumor “Goliath,” and people on social media started using the hashtag “I’d bet on the girl,” which gave me strength.
Hospitalized three times that fall due to complications. Unable to eat, walk or talk; it was nothing short of a miracle I managed to ring the radiation bell after completing treatment—on a gurney, covered in blankets because of radiation burns. The hardest part was missing my father’s funeral in August 2020. That was the same week my feeding tube went in, which I would wear for six months. Not being able to say I love you to my father face to face – by far the most difficult. As for my “why”, that is the easiest question of this interview. Miss Pixie, a senior rescue dog who came to live with me 2 weeks before I learned I was sick with unfavorable odds to beat it. There was zero way I was going to leave her after she had been abandoned in a cold ditch left for dead. She would go on to live 2 years with me when most did not give her 6 months. Pixie was my why.
Interviewer: What advice would you give to someone going through a battle with a disease, disorder, or loss – whether it is divorce or the death of a loved one or even loss of health in the aftermath of severe illness?
Interviewee: Allow yourself to cry. Don’t hold it in. It has been 13 years, and I still cry when something triggers a memory. Tears are a testimony to how much love was shared. But do not forget to laugh, either. Humor has been so important in my journey. I created a personal mantra, “Grit and Grace,” and I kept repeating it.
Find an outlet, whether it is planting flowers, journaling, joining support groups, or giving back through volunteering. Thanksgiving 2013, I sponsored a hot meal for hundreds of people at a Houston homeless mission. I was able to work in the kitchen, cooking pancakes and toast for families in need. When they introduced me as the sponsor to more than a hundred volunteers, it was impossible to hold back the tears.
Most importantly, remember that you are not alone. Losing a child is not the natural order of life, and it is different from other types of grief I’ve personally walked through. All grief requires immense courage to face, none hurts less than the other. For me, faith in God has been essential. Prayer has been the glue that holds me together, and I have come to understand that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.
Interviewer: After four years in remission, what does life look like for you now, and where do you see yourself in the future?
Interviewee: I am single now, and a proud “fur mom” to Kara, a senior rescue Yorkie who still acts like a puppy despite being blind in one eye. In the spirit of community to raise funds for YWCA in support of women overcoming domestic violence, my story will be included in the 2025 40-Women-Over-40 project based in Nashville Tennessee.
Workwise, I am a Regulatory Manager for a midstream energy startup in Houston. It is a challenging and rewarding career, especially in a highly technical field where, without a four-year degree, I answer directly to the COO. I have worked my way up starting from an environmental boutique firm to 10 years with a major oil operator within the Enhanced Oil Recovery division. As a “just getting started” 60-year-old, I have no plans to slow down; I see myself continuing to grow with the company.
Interviewer: Any final words you would like to impart?
Interviewee: My heart takes solace in knowing “I’m Still Standing”, and so are you. There are ways to honor those we have had to say goodbye to. Find your «why» and trust in it.
Know that there is someone in Houston who believes in you. You’ve got this!
In Loving Memory of Alexandria Danielle Romeo
Creating affirmations along with routine prayer and meditation life establishes daily intention which sets the course for the day. The 7 life statements below known as my personal “Pearls of Wisdom” are examples I use.
1. The Past Doesn’t Define Us: Recognize that the future holds new possibilities, regardless of past experiences.
2. Learning Leads to Growth: When we learn more, we naturally do better. Life’s challenges—like rain—fall on everyone, but our responses shape our journeys.
3. Empowerment Through Self-Reflection: Instead of asking “Why me?” shift to “What can I learn from this?” Taking ownership of life’s events helps reclaim our power.
4. Mindset Shifts with STOP: Using the acronym STOP (Stop, Think Only Positive) can redirect negative thoughts to those that serve our best self.
5. Transform Mistakes into Wisdom: Release guilt over past mistakes; instead, see them as lessons and potential guides for others. Mistakes can become “pearls of wisdom” if we let them.
6. Live in Service: Humans can illuminate each other’s paths; contributing to others brings meaning.
7. Show Yourself Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you extend to others.
These insights encourage personal growth, resilience, and compassionate living.
